Countdown to Deep Breath

Thursday 17 July 2014

Goodbye, Clara?

As rumours circulate about Clara being written out of Doctor Who, I discuss five possible ways this might happen.

Latest rumours suggest Clara may be leaving at the end of series 8. Now, I hope this isn't true as Clara is by far my favourite companion. However, photos I have seen taken on-location make it appear quite likely. So here, I'm going to discuss five ways Clara may leave the show:

1. She eats a under-cooked Soufflé
We all know Clara likes Souffles...but what if that turned out to be her downfall? What if, one day in the TARDIS kitchen, she takes one out of the oven too early and ends up food poisoning herself? Bear in mind that we don't know how good her cooking skills are, so that makes it all the more plausible.

Could Clara become the first companion to die of food poisoning?

It certainly seems likely, seeing as her love of Souffles is one of the most iconic things about her character but it doesn't seem very Moffat-y Woffat-y.

2. 12 goes all Tucker on her
Admittedly, this one is the least likely seeing as Doctor Who is a family show and therefore not likely to show the Doctor telling his companion to fuck off but maybe we could see 12 harshly telling her to bog off without the swearing? That would still come across as very Malcolm Tucker and therefore play to Peter Capaldi's strengths.

It would certainly be a unexpected way for a companion to leave but maybe that's what's needed? A exit like this could make for a breath of fresh air from other companion exits whilst also giving us a little glimpse at the dark side of the Doctor(although I wouldn't want to see 12 always acting dark/serious. The dark side should be left for one scene at the end of a episode).  It would be incredibly out of character for the Doctor, though so maybe wouldn't be a wise decision by Steven Moffat.

3. Clara acts like a Tennant/Smith-only fangirl
A lot of David Tennant and Matt Smith fangirls(although not all of them) complain about 12 being 'too old'. So maybe Clara will represent their views and opinions and this will lead to her deciding to leave the TARDIS behind?

I'm not a fan of that type of exit; I prefer the big, emotional ones and I hope Clara gets a dramatic exit similar in tone to Amy and Rory's but unfortunately I wouldn't be too surprised if a exit similar to this idea is what Clara gets. Maybe not as a result of Clara complaining that 12 is 'too old' despite the fact he's middle aged and actually not old at all but she might do it for a different reason such as how different 12 is rumoured to be from 11. Or, if we get a Pertwee-inspired series, she may leave as part of a romance sub-plot like Jo Grant and Clifford Jones. Either way, this is probably the most likely of the five exit theories(bar the age part).

4. The TARDIS shakes her out mid-flight



One thing that series 7 introduced in regards to the character of Clara is the TARDIS's dislike of her. So what if this gets progressively worse and Clara and the TARDIS become mortal enemies?

This is a loose thread Steven Moffat is yet to explore properly. We still don't know why the TARDIS hates Clara and we know Steven Moffat likes to take his time explaining things, so it is possible we could see a conclusion to this in series 8. And how better to conclude it than have the TARDIS bunk off a companion?

Something like this would really test the Doctor's loyalty with his machine and the amount of love and attention he devotes to it. Would the Doctor still care about Sexy if she killed his companion? Or would he abandon her? Would their relationship come to an end?

There's so many interesting things that could be explored if this were to happen. But would Steven Moffat really want to turn the TARDIS into a psychopath? Probably not. Still, this is Steven Moffat we're talking about. Anything could happen with him. 12 may grow a tail.

5. Clara finds herself onboard the Titanic
In 2012, Jenna Coleman appeared in the shit ITV mini-series spread-thinner-than-margarine-on-a-piece-of-bread Titanic. Maybe Doctor Who could take advantage of this and show Clara sinking along with the crew onboard the Titantic?

Actually, scrap that. I'd rather not be reminded of that godawful series.

So, these are my five theories. But what are your's? Leave your theories in the comments below.

Thursday 10 July 2014

Farewell, my friends: Trapped on a Dalek spaceship

Well, this is it. The last thing I'll ever publish on the internet and the last blog from me you'll ever see.

You see, I'm trapped. Trapped in a alcove on a Dalek spaceship. You won't believe me because...well, to you it's just a TV show and none of it can possibly be real. But it's not. It's not just a TV show. Over the last few days, I have learnt that Doctor Who is absolutely real. The Daleks, the Time Lords...everything. And now I've found myself cornered in a alcove built into a Dalek spaceship(How long have these alcoves been there, anyway? I've certainly never seen them in episodes of the show).

That's right. Cornered. Cornered in a tiny little alcove by the Daleks.

We all know what the Daleks are like. They don't show mercy. I am almost certainly a goner. So this is my farewell. 

Goodbye Mum.

Goodbye Dad.

Goodbye fellow Whovians.

You know, my username on forum sites is always the same. Dalekbuster523. And now I'm going to be busted by my all-time favourite Doctor Who enemies. The irony. 

I should never have separated from the Doctors. This is all my fault. I should have stayed with them. And the payment for my mistakes is my life. That's a hefty price to pay. 

Oh well. Better face up to my mistakes, I suppose. Better face the inevitable. For I can't prevent what is about to occur.

But before I go, readers: thanks for reading my blog. Thanks for being a willing audience. I hope my blogs entertained you. That's all I've ever wanted to do really. Entertain people with my writing. 

Goodbye, everyone. Goodbye life.






















(Don't worry, I'm not really going anywhere! This all sounds a bit suicidal, doesn't it? Well, it's definitely not. I wouldn't dare do that. This is a viral and purely fictional blog for my ongoing Fanfiction story The 12 Doctors featuring me as one of the characters.)

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9733466/1/The-12-Doctors

Saturday 1 September 2012

The Doctor's coolwall

Today,I'm going to be lazy. I'm going to do a Blue Peter-thing. I'm going to show you something I made earlier. So,here's something I made earlier:
I love how I put the Doctor's Stetson flying off he's head under "seriously uncool". Is that being pulled by invisible string or something? Mind you,maybe River Song should've been under sub zero and not cool. I don't think she'd be very impressed that the Doctor loves hats more than her! She'd probably shoot he's entire hat collection! What do you think? Do you agree with the cool wall,or do you think some bits should be under different headings? Let me know in the comments below.

Friday 31 August 2012

Why I kidnapped Ian and Barbara

Ah,Blogger. Now how does this thing work,hmm? Am I supposed to press enter to begin typing? Oh,I see,Chesterton. You're very good at understanding computers. Why is it automatically saving? I've not finished yet.

Oh,hello blog readers. My name is Doctor Foreman but you may call me the Doctor instead. I'm currently travelling with two school teachers,Chesterton and Miss Wright. Also with me is my grand daughter,Susan. Yes,I can see she's going to end up playing a superhero heroine in something. She certainly has the scream! Now,as you may be aware,I kidnapped the two school teachers. Letting the BBC film it was a foolish mistake! Foolish! Why,even a young child could figure that one out. Now,in this blog,I shall explain why I kidnapped them. Yes,I shall. Now,shall I explain?

First of all,they knew the timelord's greatest secret. Why,if I'd let them go,they'd have only gone blabbering to the nearest policeman! Unless,of course,there was no policemen nearby as they were all too busy watching the first ever episode of Corrie. I suppose they might've needed weekend shopping from Tesco's,but one can't be so trusting.

Another reason was so my dear Susan had some people to spend time with. She needed a bit of company. You know,someone to look up to instead of a wrinkly old man such as myself. She was always going on about Chesterton and Miss Wright. How they'd not even known that Hitler was originally a alien bull from the planet Tory,that H20 is actually a method created by the Blarbans to drown Justin Bieber with water... apparantley,they didn't even know that Carbon Dioxide was only ever invented by Chirinius Channing from Gallifrey as a way for Timelords to regenerate successfully without killing themselves. It was never intended for humans! NEVER! Susan often described them both as "wonderful" so when they entered the TARDIS,I thought it best to trap them. Why,I can't think of any better company for Susan!

There was also the matter that Susan annoys me with her screaming. Everytime she sees something,she has this rather awful habit of screaming at it. So what would've been better than kidnapping Chesterton,a charming young man,and Miss Wright,both who I recognized as having unique companion features straight away. I only take the best. I refuse to take anyone other than the best! You see,if I just took any old fool,just think what damage could be done to time! Cheryl Cole could become a good singer and that'd break the space/time continuum! As soon as I saw Ian and Barbara,I knew instantly that they'd never do a thing like that. I thought that maybe if I had two brave, courageous humans travelling with us,that maybe Susan would lose the scream. As soon as they forced their way into my TARDIS,I knew that was who they were.

The final reason why I kidnapped Ian and Barbara was that I was so desperate to show some new faces the wonders of the universe! The lovely planets,Earth's rich past,even the number of fast food restaurants everywhere in space!(Yes,my fellow readers,it's not just Earth that has fast food restaurants). So I figured when they were in the TARDIS,that if I closed the doors on them,I could do just that. You know,it's made such a change to show someone different around the universe and time apart from my dear granddaughter.

Before I go,I'll just mention something to you that you may find slightly interesting. You may know that a few weeks ago,a Mars rover spotted a face in Mars. You see,my dear readers,Chesterton decided it was a good idea to draw he's face onto it. God knows how hard I smacked that young man with a walking stick. Why,that could've caused a huge crack in time! He's usually quite a bright lad,Chesterton so you could imagine how surprised I was when he did it.

Anyway,readers,I better go. Chesterton's just told me we've landed. God,I'm getting too old for this blogging lark. I shall hand you over to younger blood. Here you go,Bassett,you may have your blog back now. Yes,you may.

Thank you,Doctor. Do you agree with the Doctor's reasons for kidnapping Ian and Barbara? Let me know in the comments below.

Wednesday 29 August 2012

BLOW MY RECORDER BABY

I was thinking the other day,doesn't the song "Blow my whistle,baby" suit the second Doctor well? I mean,I know it's a recorder he plays(I'm not that stupid) but he's still well known for blowing the recorder a lot. So,in this blog,I'm going to change the lyrics to Blow my whistle to suit the Doctor(all of them,seeing as they're all the same person):
Can you play my recorder Sexy, recorder sexy
Let me know
TARDIS, I'm gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
You just put your doors together
And you come real close
Can you play my recorder Sexy, recorder sexy
Allons-y
(Look) I'm stealing you like people
And I'm betting you love timey wimey mode
And I'm betting you like girls that shoot bullets to consoles
And kill your little owner
I bet you I'm guilty your honor
That's just how we live in my travels
Who in the hell done made the timeline alter?
There's only one Sexy, and one timelord
I'm a damn guilty
Order more adventure, pull a damn hamstring
Tryna put it on ya
Bet your doors spin back around Earth
Slow it down Sexy take a little longer

Can you blow my recorder Sexy, recorder Sexy
Let me know
Sexy  I'm gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
You just put your doors together
And you come real close
Can you play my recorder sexy, recorder Sexy
Allons-y

recorder sexy, recorder Sexy,
recorder Sexy, recorder Sexy
Re-Recorder Sexy, recorder Sexy
Recorder Sexy, Recorder Sexy
Re-Recorder Sexy, Recorder Sexy

It's like everywhere I go
There's danger ready to go
Amy won't forget the wait
She can wait anytime by the case
Greediness not approved
It's okay, it's under control
Show me Sexy, 'cause girl you can vworp it
Sexy we start travelling, you vworp away in faulty condition
Sexy I'm losing Ponds, my Bessie the same time stream
Show me your perfect landing, you got it my Gallifrey
Talented with your doors, like you opened out a Dalek
So amusing, now you can play a recorder with the music
Hope you ain't got no fuel, you can play it
Give me the perfect pitch, ya never lose it

Can you play my recorder Sexy, recorder Sexy
Let me know
Sexy I'm gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
You just put your doors together
And you come real close
Can you play my recorder Sexy, recorder Sexy
Allons-y

Recorder Sexy, recorder Sexy,
Re-Recorder Sexy, Recorder Sexy
Recorder Sexy, Recorder Sexy,
Re-Recorder Sexy, Recorder Sexy

Go Sexy you can vworp it
Let me see you play the recorder while you vworp it
I'mma set the controls, don't stop it
'Cause I love it how you dematerialize it, dematerialize it,  dematerialize it with me
Now, Sexy let that recorder blow-oh, oh oh
Yeah, Sexy let that recorder blow-oh oh!

Can you play my recorder Sexy, Recorder Sexy
Let me know
Sexy  I'm gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
You just put your doors together
And you come real close
Can you play my recorder Sexy, recorder Sexy
Allons-y

Recorder Sexy, recorder Sexy,
Re-Recorder Sexy, Recorder Sexy
Recorder Sexy, Recorder Sexy,
Re-Recorder Sexy, Recorder Sexy

Tuesday 28 August 2012

THE THIRD DOCTOR IN...JAMES BOND

With it being only three days till the return of Doctor Who,today's blog is focusing on the third Doctor. Now,as you're probably aware,the third Doctor spent majority of he's time trapped on Earth and using various gadgets and Bessie the car. And who does that remind you of? Bond. James Bond. So this makes me wonder:shouldn't the third Doctor have been in James Bond? I mean,look at the way he's holding that sonic screwdriver out. It's as if he's thinking "I'll show them who they're dealing with James Bond style." Did the 3rd Doctor,off screen,spend he's free time watching James Bond and practicing James Bond moves with he's sonic screwdriver,until the Brigadier comes in and shouts "Doctor! Will you kindly stop mucking about and help assist Liz Shaw with her latest findings? There's plenty of time to replace Sean Connery later!"?

Talking about James Bond and the Doctor,have you noticed how many times James Bond changes faces? I mean,it's like he's secretly a timelord or something. You half expect him to say in response to a Bond Villian "You may as well kill me anyway,because I'll just come back with a new body in two year's time! And I won't even look like the original Bond because I regenerate!" This is something else that'd make the 3rd Doctor perfect for James Bond.

One thing I would find quite amusing would be the 3rd Doctor's response to the villain's plans. This'd probably be the conversation.
Villian: So,Mr Bond. I see you've finally made it...
3rd Doctor: Yes,my dear fellow. I believe I have. Now,will you kindly tell me your plans over a cup of tea,please?
Villain: Certainly,Mr Bond.
3rd Doctor. No,it's Doctor. The Doctor.
Villain: Doctor? Oh well,I'll tell you my plans anyway. You see,tomorrow morning,I'm going to blow up UNIT headquarters with you and Liz inside. Then,I'm going to blow up every other government and military organisation,and all the emergency services to leave Earth totally vulnerable to everything. And you won't stop me!
3rd Doctor. Oh,I believe I miss Shaw and I will be perfectly safe. You see,while you were kindly telling me you're plans,I reversed the polarity of the neutron flow,which seems to be able to do more or less anything.

That already cries "Epic!".

Monday 27 August 2012

Just doing a bit of jiggery pokery with the TARDIS

Ah,there...done. Hello,fellow blog readers! It is I,the Doctor. I just came back from the planet Jellyphobian. Turned out they didn't like Jelly Babies. Wierd race. Anyho,here's my blog for the most important blog in the cosmos except my Sarah Jane's :

Today,it's my favourite Jelly babies. So here they are,fellow blog-eaders!

Ah yes,the blackcurrant jelly baby. I bumped into a alive one once on the planet Yoki yoki yoki. I told him I drank Blackcurrant juice. He wasn't best pleased,was he,K9?

Oh,I've always loved having the yellow ones. Such a lovely color. I'm thinking of painting K9 bright yellow. He needs to stand out a bit more. I can never tell where he is when I take him walkies.

Red is usually a sign of warning. In this case it's a sign of jelly goodness. Why,my fellow readers,you should replace your inferior red man with red jelly babies. It'd make me stop walking anytime.
The one thing about green Jelly babies that puts me off is their color. I do hope they're not going to be sick. The TARDIS doesn't have enough buckets for them all. That reminds me,I must visit the Bucklariaria race from the planet bucket for some more. They're very kind. They even gave me a new long scarf the other day.

I do apolagise for the short blog but me and K9 are busy surfing on fedoras in space. It's so much fun. Anyway,I wish I could stay forever but I believe Sean will want he's blogsite back.

Thank you,Doctor. It's about time! You didn't even ask me first. You just claimed to everyone you were "borrowing" it,when clearly you were stealing!